


Dark hour

by Ohimematcha



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: But it's okay, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Chimera Ant Arc, Soft Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:21:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27821425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohimematcha/pseuds/Ohimematcha
Summary: Some nights Gon gets his soul aching, luckily for him, Killua's here.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Dark hour

**Author's Note:**

> Only dialogue is inspired by the song "Feel something" by Jaymes Young.

Sometimes at night, when it’s the darkest hour, Gon’s soul remember how hollow it felt when he realized Kite died by his fault. During those times all of his heart aches as if it would never be happy again, as if every good thing in this world has disappeared. He tries to be quiet, not to cry, not to scream, almost not to breathe. He just stays still, holding his chest the way he would like to reach to his heart and make that pain stop, hoping he would fall asleep before falling apart.  
He can’t remember where are the stars in the night, he can’t remember how warm it is to feel alive anymore. Everything is dark and black, his hair, his soul, his heart, everything tears in black. There’s no sound either, even the voice who once told him everything was his fault left him. Emptiness is worse than suffering. Feeling nothing is way scarier than being angry. Someone angry keeps his humanity; someone hollow is nothing anymore. 

How long was it since those kinds of nights started? Too long. But he would be strong again when the dawn will come. He will rise and smile again, pretending nothing ever happened. Was he a coward? Should he talk to someone about that? But what to say? He has no right to complain, he already hurt too much people. He already has done too much. His heart during those dark hours is a burden he can’t share with anyone. 

Did he definitely crossed the line and there was no turning back being innocent again? At least he would like to know how to deal with that. This void was too harsh, worse than salt on a wound, worse than any punch he ever had. Because he saw no end to it. When he broke a bone or got punched, he knew it was just a bad moment but it would go away. But this. It felt like the world was dying, falling apart. A monster took a sat on his chest, he couldn’t breathe anymore but the monster wouldn’t leave anyway. Too heavy for him, if he stayed too long even his heart would stop beating. In fact, wouldn’t it be better if his heart made it stop? If it was the end. 

Although, one night, Killua woke up to drink a glass of water and we can call it coincidence or foreboding, but this exact night he opened Gon’s door to check if the boy was sleeping. He didn’t planned to at first, in the end he didn’t even looked if he was asleep or not. He just recognized the position, way too much, way too quickly for having been in it so many times before. Without a question or a word he knew how was Gon feelings. The emptiness, fear, numbness. He knew it all. And his heart literally broke in pieces at the sight of his precious light going through all of that. 

During those night Killua just wanted to die hoping someone would be there one day to save him and get him out of this. Getting himself out of this, he was strong enough to do it, but later he saw in Gon the fundamental element to stop feeling that way. Since their meeting, those dark hours were gone. He wanted to return the favor, he wanted to be the one saving Gon from this state this time.  
As he sat next to him he grabbed his hand, the one clenched around his chest, holding it tight but softly between his. Showing him he was not alone. 

Hazelnut pleading eyes met his and if he wasn’t so close he wouldn’t have heard the words falling from Gon’s lips, like a prayer, soft like a feather but tinted with so much sorrow. 

“Make me feel something. Show me that I’m human” 

Killua hold him tighter in his embrace, their body fitting snugly next to each other. Gon’s back, so fragile in this moment, resting on Killua’s chest. All he wanted was the boy to feel his heartbeat.  
If Gon felt like he had a hole instead of his heart, then Killua would share his own with him. 

They stayed like that the whole night, in the dark, in silence. There was no need to sleep, or to talk. Killua’s warm spreading to Gon’s body and soul. And when the daylight came, the monster on his heart has disappeared.


End file.
